Getting ready

November 4th: Personal Pep Talks, the first of many.

Tomorrow it begins.

Ugh sorry I’ve been such a bad blogger. While I’m not busy stirring up the fangirl tendencies of the internet and dealing with hoards of children coming to see Wreck-It Ralph (which you need to see btw it’s brilliant. I’ll prob write about it on my other blawg over here.), I’ve been mentally preparing for this week.

I’m going to go out in person and find a job.

This is my “I have no idea what I’m doing” face.

I know. It’s such a dumb idea, it has to work.

But I mean come on. I’m so SICK of online applications. I’m sick of wondering where all my effort went in cyberspace when I don’t hear ANYTHING back for weeks and weeks and I just get to sit in a state of constant unsure dejection. It’s come to the point where I’d rather get some face to face rejection rather than passive-aggressive nothingness.

So I’ve got to go out there and let myself be known. Or as I was chatting with my friend Val, who’s the costume designer of the college I graduated from, I have to go out and be a “sweet nuisance.” Toe the line between being annoying in an annoying way and being annoying in a slightly cute and endearing way. Super easy, right?

Well, I guess if I knew, I’d be doing better off.

I think it’s that I have a hard time asking for help or favors. I want to be so fiercely independent that I shy away from accepting the fact that I can’t do it alone.  But I can’t. Networking is the thing I don’t know how to do and desperately need to learn. I’m half convinced I’ll find work if I can just talk to the right person at the right time. But am I too focused on anticipating it that I’m blinded to what’s right in front of me?

Sorry for getting all philosophical, but I can’t help it sometimes. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. (extra points if you get the reference). I guess what I’m trying to get to here is that I’m scared. I’m scared of failure. I’m scared that I’m too scared of failure that I won’t even try. I have to stop caring so much what other people think about me and remember that I am who I am and I don’t have to prove every single aspect of myself. I just have to show them I can give them what they want.

Which leads me to:

Taylor’s Unofficial Job Search Tip #1:

The key to getting what you want is to find out what other people want and then show them that you can give them just that…and more. (courtesy of my lovely friend Val, once more)

Ok. Let’s be honest. I typed that out only to convince myself of it too. Sigh.

Wish me luck. I’ve got to go out and do the one thing I hate doing the most: inconveniencing people. Don’t worry. I’ll blog about every wince-worthy moment, and hopefully some confidence boosting ones too!

See you tomorrow morning!

~Taylor

EDIT: WHOA OK WORLD THANKS. This popped up right after I hit publish:

If this isn’t a message from the world, i don’t know what is.

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