I’m sorry, I’ve been neglecting this blog, and I really don’t mean to.
It’s been such a whirlwind week, as I’ve up and gone to southern California in the fruitless pursuit of that elusive career job that doesn’t seem to want to be found by a college graduate with a vague degree and a skill set so varied and erratic that it’s impossible to pin down except by my own desperation.
But anyway, I’ve had a good time even though I’ve been running myself ragged. Someone on the street tonight handed me a half a roll of toilet paper that he’d been carrying around to blow his own nose and noticed that my own makeshift tissue was full of holes. So dear cute guy who gave me a roll of toilet paper to blow my nose in, thank you. I hope fate may bring us back together again.
Besides the fact that I’m getting sick and I’ve been sleeping on the floor (which is ok, btw, but my back was a bit stiff this morning), I’ve been feeling marginally successful. It’s still endlessly frustrating and I really just wish people could see the amount of passion I have past my resume and cover letter, which I’ve painstakingly been perfecting over the past few months. I’d really like to go through at least one day without suddenly being overwhelmed by feelings of intense sadness and desperation. It’s worse when it hits you in rush hour traffic and there’s no where to run from yourself. I was literally sobbing in my car and I almost had to pull over because I was becoming blind with emotion, but then I looked up and I saw a poster for the Hobbit on a bus stop and you know what? It was that picture of Martin Freeman staring at you with this look of almost mischievous determination and almost immediately I felt lighter inside. I laughed as I looked at it and it made me happy and then I was able to drive back to my friend’s apartment. More tears came later, but for the time being, I felt better. So thanks Hobbit poster on Fairfax and Olympic. You basically saved me for a second there.
But I’m trying to get out there, get my name out there. I’ve had my first drinks night and am (hopefully) going get some networking done at an event on Monday. That is if someone will take my shift at the movie theatre. I’m putting out more applications, putting my name in at employment agencies, and in the meantime, attempting to reorganize my life and attitude and usually failing and ending up reading sad fanfiction while lying half asleep on the floor of your friend’s apartment.
How does one get a job? How does one get to know people? But in a quite quick manner since the deadline for student loans is pretty much here and I can’t do this. I’m not ready. I went to college because 18 year old me was impulsive and had to leave and had to go to school and thought she had no other choice and would deal with it later. Well, it’s later now, and I’m mad at myself. I went to college because that’s what you’re “supposed to do.” High school valedictorian not go to school, or worse, to a community college? Never. So what other option do I have when I’ve been told my whole life that the American Dream is to go to college and then get a job, be a drone, commute to work, get married, quit work, pop out 2.5 kids and live in the suburbs.
Well, quite frankly, I’d rather Reichenbach fall off a building (too soon? yes too soon….ugh sorry), than do that. I know that my life is worth so much more than a paycheck and an ergonomic keyboard at a desk inside another nondescript office building. But how do I prove that? Why should I have to prove that? I mean, at this point, I’ll take what work I can get, but based on the response I’ve got, or wait I mean never get because I hear NOTHING, it’s like I’m unhireable. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places, but will someone please then tell me the right place. I can only read so many career advice articles before they all sound like a copy and paste epidemic has swept the internet.
Wow that got real cynical real fast.
Ok, so I don’t mean to be so negative, but after awhile, it just wears down on a person.
Does anyone have any tips? And something frank and honest because that’s what I really need right now. So denizens of the internet, help a girl out. How the hell do I get a job?