New Job November

November 11 (part 2): The WTF’s of Job Searching

Ok, so if you want to read my angst ridden conglomeration of blabbering and Sherlock references abound, just look at my other posts. Today, even though I sat awake an hour before my alarm went off fretting and stressing and I’ve pretty much been this tightly wound all day because I’m desperate for someone to take my shift at the movie theatre so I can get some networking done that I’ve ALREADY committed to (Nothing more stressful than knowing that you have to be in two places at once). oops wait where was that sentence going? Sorry all my past English teachers for giving you a run-on aneurysm.

ANYWAYS, today I’m going to post some of the funny things that have managed to make me smile through the eye strain of typing out my employment history for the 7th time in one sitting. Because, after all, zombie apocalypse or not, you just have to

1.) 90% of Craigslist ads*

*especially in the Tv/film/video section

I’ve been so wary of using Craigslist because I’ve never really used it before and also my mom keeps the Lifetime network on all day long and they’re really big on inflating fears over nothing. Not to say I think everyone on the website is a serial killer, but the whole anonymous function is a bit off-putting, plus the fact that anyone can post on there with little to no moderation makes it harder to sort out the legitimate from the scammy.

That being said, it’s absolutely hilarious to see what some people post on there ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THAT MAKES IT MORE IMPORTANT LOOKING OH FOR GOD’S SAKE PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

At least there’s some variety…

While it’s quite funny, the longer I really think about it, I just get sad because some people seriously look at these ads unironically and hope to get work and get paid and get famous, maybe this time. It’s quite exploitative down to it’s core, especially to women.

I’d get up on a soapbox but let’s focus on wondering when the TV show about women who only wear animal themed clothing comes out. My bet’s on you, TLC.

2.) Job websites that have some personality

I have been on too many different job application websites and I seriously want to cry every time I see the massive amounts of text boxes I have to fill in absolutely perfectly otherwise it shoots me back to square one when I try to hit submit. Each of them are as impersonal and formulaic as the previous one. But sometimes, you get one that is actually really great. Take for example, When I clicked on a job I’d already applied for accidentally, it took me to this page:

I have this saved on my computer as sassypants.jpg.

Well, at least it managed to make me smile in between the furrowed brows of frustration that seem to often occupy my face.

3.) Pre-Employment Surveys

For some of the jobs I’ve applied for, I had to do a survey of a few related questions to my skills and abilities, and once I had to answer like 50 trick questions at 11pm about how to deal with customer service issues. But the one that takes the cake for me is the one I had to fill out today when I submitted my resume to a temp agency. Ok, so I understand that they search for job applicants of all walks of life, but do you REALLY need to ask me 12 times if I’d fake a job-related injury or punch someone in the face or THIS:

What would have happened if I selected heavy use? I mean REALLY would anyone own up to that. Oh, and I should mention, I don’t do meth. Duh.

I actually managed to laugh out loud and then started to wonder what type of jobs this place might get for me.

4.) Typing in all the information on your resume into more text boxes on the application site, because it’s not already on the resume that I’ve literally spent hours on Photoshop in. No it isn’t. I’d love to reiterate myself again.

Don’t have a screenshot of that, but I do have a reaction gifset instead:

(p.s. none of these gifs were made by me and I’d love to credit them but I can’t trace the strings of the internet back that far. If they are yours, please know I love you and want to credit you!)

5.) The void of nothingness

Ok this goes more into the “but seriously, WTF” instead of the “haha WTF” category. Why is it that I never hear anything back? I have at least submitted upwards of 100+ resumes and cover letters and then nothing. Aside from the automated response of thanks for applying emails that get spit back into my crowded inbox, I hear NOTHING. And then I just assume my application got, once again, lost among the clamor and the clutter of the internet. Occasionally, I’ll get a response saying the position was filled and they are usually very nice and I like that. I’d rather hear no than nothing.

I’ve been doing this robotically for so long and it’s turning into the old adage my dad would always say: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Well, then call me crazy.

I’ve got to do it differently. But how?


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